3. “We talked a ton, set expectations, set hard and fast rules, picked out a guy together, did it outside our household, and I did all the communication with the guy. Basically, we did everything we could to make our fantasy a reality while not jeopardizing the love and trust at the core of our relationship.”
“One key thing that we talked about was to keep in mind that she might have an earth-shattering orgasm from another guy because of the circumstances. But that doesn’t mean she is automatically more sexually compatible with him.
You can’t create a fantasy scenario and then get upset that it was everything she dreamed it would be.”
6. “My wife and I were ‘swingers’ for over five years, and experienced threesomes, foursomes, orgies — basically most combinations. I’m straight, she’s not. We were married for a long time before we added others in, and when we got into this, it was because we wanted to have sexual experiences that weren’t possible with just one dick and one vagina.”
“Talk about this with each other. When you think you’ve covered everything there is to cover, talk more. Figure out what your hard limits are (as in, ask each other about various scenarios and situations. Is he okay with her getting a facial from another dude, is she okay with him giving another girl a facial? If one partner steps out of the room to go the bathroom, is there an expectation that play stops until he/she returns?
The things that are intimate between the two of you are intimate because of your relationship. Kissing another woman/dude wasn’t intimate in this context for us.
Before you go down this path, learn to put your partner first. If you approach this as an opportunity to get some new pussy/dick, you’re selfish but more importantly, you’ll piss your partner off at some point because you’re not doing this for the two of you — you’re doing it for yourself.
My wife and I had a lot of debriefs after an experience where we felt like one or the other broke a rule of ours. But the truth was just that there was some ambiguity and confusion. Your partner has your best interests at heart, and isn’t trying to do anything to hurt you.
And if a threesome is something you hope to do to ‘save’ your relationship, don’t do it. It should be something you are both excited to experience together. It’s supposed to enhance your relationship, not destroy it.”
10. “Well, most of our threesomes have been with wives in couples who we’ve already ‘swapped’ with, so that changes the dynamic compared to a threesome with a single person. But we’ve also had some with single women, and that’s been fine, too. We’ve had probably somewhere between 15 and 20 MFF threesomes and a couple MFFF experiences in the last three years, and our relationship is stronger than ever before.”
“The most important thing is that your relationship needs to be rock-solid first. Bringing other people into your sex life amplifies everything. If your relationship is good, it can make everything even better. If there are any cracks, though, they can be amplified and make everything worse.
Sex with others is not a replacement for bad sex in your relationship. It can be an enhancement, though, to a good sex life. The real crux of this is confidence that you still feel like you’re your partner’s favorite.
You have to reassure your partner before, and after that, you still appreciate them and want them more than anyone else that you add in.”
11. “Threesomes aren’t worth it for most couples. I (46M) had a threesome with my girlfriend (40F) and a female sex worker (who was probably around 27). It was my girlfriend’s idea. The sex worker showed up, we were all a couple of glasses of wine in, and then the ‘party started.’ She went down on me, then went down on my girlfriend. I go down on her from behind while she’s going down on my girlfriend. Then my girlfriend tells me to fuck her. I look her in the face to make sure she means it. She does and then starts passionately kissing the woman.”
“I get to business with the sex worker from behind while watching my girlfriend make out with this smoke show. It was a fantasy.
The night ends and everyone is happy, except that I can’t shake the mental picture of my girlfriend sticking her tongue down this woman’s throat with WAY more enthusiasm than she’s ever kissed me.
Fast forward, my girlfriend mentions me fucking this other woman multiple times as our relationship continues. Clearly, it bothered her, and she didn’t feel about it how she expected to beforehand.
It isn’t the reason why our relationship ended, but it did change it.”
12. “I’ve done a lot of threesomes and had group sex when I was in a relationship. Without fail, the secret to successful group sex is communication. Expressing your desires in a supportive manner, listening to your partner(s) and adjusting accordingly, being respectful, reassuring, and giving. Make sure everyone is doing it for the right reasons (the third doesn’t have feelings for one person in the couple and vice versa). The couple is equally enthusiastic about it; everyone agrees on soft and hard limits.”
“At least for my relationship, after the action is done for the night, the third would leave shortly after. Then, we reconnected and talked about the experience.
We showered together and were physically and emotionally intimate. We shared our vulnerabilities about the threesome with each other.”
