James Brown felt super confident that we, in fact, live in a man’s world. And while I may be able to see where he was coming from in a toxic masculinity sense, there’s absolutely no way the humans described below can take responsibility for keeping the world turning. I don’t even think they can keep the dish in their microwave turning. Ya can’t convince me.
1. “Strangers clapping in a McDonald’s parking lot when he walked a diaper to the garbage.”
2. “Neighbors (women) are all amazed that my husband cooks…guess what, ladies? Much like the vacuum cleaner, the oven isn’t powered by my fallopian tubes. Give me a break.”
3. “A guy I was hooking up with did a two-pump-dump on me… Then he starts getting dressed saying, ‘I hope you’re ready for some more of that next week babe.’ Then winks at me.”
“This guy was fully sober, and his delusional ass really thought he did a good job.”
4. “My outings with the kids are great, with people complimenting me and even offering extra help with a lot of different things. My wife says her going out with the boys is waaaay different than what I see.”
5. “When I was 12 and complained that my brother always did a shit job on his chores, but mine had to be perfect.”
“My mom made me redo his, even the harder things like mowing and trimming the lawn.” —u/smilegracesmile
6. “I was on a second date with a guy and I let him know I wouldn’t be sleeping with him. He still told me he’d be walking me home. When we got to my place I let him in, and as he was leaving my apartment, he saw I had this thingy that needed installing. He immediately said he could take care of it for me if I wanted to, and I remember just being in shock and unable to speak.”
“I wasn’t ready for a guy to be nice without the promise of sex.” —u/alotofpisces
7. “I realized I was amazed by him not requiring me to be hairless at all times, like my exes had.”
8. “My tall brother carries his toddler more than his wife does, and my aunt believes that makes her a lazy mom. My cousin was shocked to learn he changes his child’s diapers.”
9. “At the beginning of the relationship with my partner, he would initiate things like cooking dinner and cleaning up afterwards. I profusely thanked him for being so thoughtful.”
“He was shocked that it was such a big deal to me.” —u/conscious_trouble_70
10. “When dating I expected a man to have a job, a house, a vehicle, and be independent like me. Finding a man that actually had these basic necessities of life was like a needle in a haystack.”
11. “My husband brought me up a cup of coffee whilst I was WFH and on a Zoom call. People on the call were literally like ‘Whoa, gurl, you got him whipped!’ And, ‘where do I get service like this?'”
“It’s something that I appreciate, but he’s not saving the world is he?” —u/destria
12. “The amount of men who brag that they’ve never sexually assaulted anyone like that deserves brownie points is wild. Like congrats for not being a predator and a criminal I guess?”
13. “I’m 37 and started dating my husband at 29. I remember telling him a couple of months in, ‘Wow you’re the only guy I’ve dated who’s nice to me.”
“He wasn’t necessarily doing anything above and beyond, but just not acting like he didn’t give a shit about me was huge.” —u/steff-you
14. “I had a really brutal week and my boyfriend packed me lunch one day. He literally just put some leftovers in Tupperware for me. Everyone at work told me that he was an amazing man because he did that. They literally talked about it for a year.”
“When they saw him at a work function, they would bring it up to him.” —u/apostate456
15. “When I started dating men after exclusively dating women for most of my 20s, I realized how much I was going to have to lower my standards for basic human decency if I wanted to actually have a relationship with a guy.”
“It got to the point where I said, ‘if this guy asks me more than three questions about myself on this date, then I will go on a second date.’ —u/winooskiwinter
How is living in that man’s world sounding now?? Yeah, I’m scared too. Tell us your horror stories in the comments! If we work together, we can trick men into being average at-best, one day at a time.
