As we grow up, we see things differently. How we look at the world at 25 is vastly different from how we view life at 13. And as we age, we are forced to come to terms with difficult things. So Redditor u/BluebirdIll6390 asked, “What’s the hardest pill to swallow in your early twenties?” Here’s what people said, including members of the BuzzFeed Community, about the toughest realities of aging into your 20s and beyond.
1. “For me, a hard pill to swallow was realizing how much I actually have to make to have the lifestyle to which I was accustomed and how far I was from that as a recent graduate.”
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2. “You have to become the driving force making the next steps of your life happen. There’s a pretty clear, direct pipeline from childhood to university. After that, it’s all open. A lot of people get stuck floating around in post-college purgatory, waiting for something to happen, but you just have to be the one to make those things happen now. It’s very easy to get sucked into the rhythm of the first job you get out of college, setting up wherever you’re situated, having ideas of what you’d like to do with your life with no urgency to get started because you’re under the false assumption you’ve all the time in the world. You’re young, but the days are long, and the years are short. Don’t wait to start living.”
3. “Some careers don’t start till you’re in your 30s.”
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4. “My dad told me that the older I got, the smarter he would seem. It turns out he was right all along.”
—KR Johnson
5. “True friends are hard to find. They’re not the friends you party with. Not the friends you hang onto because you ‘have a history even though you don’t have much in common anymore, or they treat you like shit. The true friends who will love you for who you are. It took me a long time and a lot of heartache to learn this one, but my best friend at 35 has enriched my life in ways that my old contingent of ‘friends’ never could.”
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—Anonymous
6. “The hardest thing for me was realizing that some of my friends and family were objectively bad people who would never change and/or grow up.”
7. “You have to decide what you want to eat for every meal for the rest of your life.”
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8. “Your parents are getting older and won’t be here forever.”
9. “You will either cultivate habits, willpower, study, exercise, and routines for success, or you will slowly watch yourself fade. No one is protecting you from yourself anymore.”
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10. “This is likely the best your body will ever feel. Put in the work now, and your body will thank you. I’m talking about flexibility work, strength work, skin and teeth.”
11. “Being an adult isn’t nearly as exciting as I thought. While I love my autonomy, I don’t love my bills or responsibilities. The fact is, every stage of life has its pros and cons. Nothing is ever perfect, but that’s okay.”
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—Anonymous
12. “Remember how, as a kid, a year took forever? Like the week after Christmas, had this crushing reality that it would be forever before it happened again? Now, remember how fast this last year went? Yeah. That’s your life. You’ll be 30, wondering what happened to time. It just keeps getting faster. Don’t try to speed through, even in the bad times. Take time. Don’t live for the weekend, don’t put things aside for ‘another time.’ People say you won’t be young forever, but nobody prepares you for how short ‘not forever’ it actually is.”
13. “Your comfort zone quickly becomes a prison if you indulge in it. You need to push your boundaries and only fall back into your comfort zone when you absolutely need it. Staying in your comfort zone will breed anxiety when you leave it. You have to put yourself into uncomfortable situations to build up resilience for the future.”
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14. “That feeling of being a kid who is just figuring shit out never actually ends.”
15. “Realizing that adulting is a full-time job with no time off.”
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16. “At the end of the day, you are on your own. No parent, teacher, or camp counselor will swoop in, resolve conflicts, and guide you to the next step. You have to figure it all out. You can ask people for advice, but the problems are infinitely more complex and never have a ‘right’ answer, only a ‘best we can figure’ answer given what you have available. Yes, close friends or a significant other can be there to aid you when you need help with projects, moving, or a shoulder to cry on. But at the end of the day, it’s your life, and you must steer the ship.”
17. “All the fun of going to school, having summers off, having ‘breaks’ for fall or winter…that’s just about over. Time to go to work every day until you’re ready to retire. Hope you enjoyed your school years!”
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18. “‘You can be the sweetest, juiciest peach in the world, and there will still be people who don’t like peaches.'”
19. “My parents were right: A boring life is a happy life.”
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—Anonymous
Do you have one to add? What’s one of the most difficult things you’ve had to come to terms with as you get older? Tell us in the comments or in this anonymous form.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
