Living with your parents can be hugely helpful in getting your feet back on the ground.
But if you’re going to be under their roof, there are likely to be some rules.
At the very least, they’re going to have opinions about what you do with your money.
These parents don’t mind helping out, but they also don’t think their kid should be spending money he doesn’t have on an expensive hobby.
Check out the details!
AITA for telling my adult child that they can’t have an expensive hobby?
For context, I (F45) have 3 adult children (F20, M23, and NB25) with my husband (M46) who all live at home for various reasons.
The issue I’m having is with my oldest, “Po.”
They have been living at home for over a year after having moving in with friends for a while, but the situation turned bad and they needed to come home.
Just as with our other children, they are working (PT hours, since the place they work for won’t give them FT hours), and we only charge them $100/week for rent.
The rent includes all utilities, food, personal supplies, and gas for the car.
That seems like a really fair deal for them to get back on their feet.
(Sidenote: the car is actually mine, but since neither my oldest or youngest have a car, they share my car to get back and forth to work with occasional help from my DH.)
The only other expenses they have are their portion of the cell phone service (they are under our account), their portion of the car insurance, student loan payments, and their “splurges.”
(Meaning Spotify, which they split with our youngest, a subscription to XBox Gold, and another subscription to a PlayStation service.)
Here’s my problem: they enjoy LARPing (LARP = Live Action Role Play. Think a sort of live-action “Dungeons and Dragons.”)
However, LARPing can get expensive (well over $100).
They owe us approx $350 in back rent, due to us not charging them rent when they weren’t working at one point.
So they have an outstanding bill with the parents and a pricey hobby.
Now, I enjoy LARPing, as well, and plan on going to next month’s event.
They starting talking about how they’re looking forward to the event and how they’ll just ride with us, plus everything they’re planning on doing.
This doesn’t sit well with me since they owe us money and would be losing money from not working an entire weekend when they don’t even work every day of the week.
I want to tell them that they can’t go for these reasons, but I know there will a lot of backlash, plus they might end up going anyway since they have friends who are going and would give them a ride.
But, aren’t they an adult?
We already have somewhat of a strained relationship and that they rarely talk to me unless it’s about themselves.
They tend to either shut down or explode at me if I say anything that comes across at all criticizing.
I have told them them that they can’t go and that I will put restrictions on them (like not allowing them out of the house, even to see their friends, except for work and medical appointments; I’ve already banned them from using the car for anything other than those)?
So, AITA for putting my foot down and saying they can’t go and there would be repercussions if they do?
Does Reddit think these house restrictions are fair?
Let’s find out.
First up, a commenter had an interesting point about raising kids.
Next, a user mentioned this is the child’s money, not the parent’s.
Another Redditor mentioned charging rent for family can read as insensitive.
And finally, another reader stated the truth of the matter. You cannot tell them they can’t leave.
It seems like this parent doesn’t know their boundaries with their adult children.
You can create a fair deal without overstepping.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.
