His Parents Keep Giving Him Unwanted Advice, But He Wonders If He Was Too Rude To His Mom When Telling Her To Mind Her Own Business

It’s great when parents want to help their adult children, but it’s not great when the parents don’t seem to understand it’s time to back off.

That’s the issue in today’s story when one man’s parents keep pushing their opinions on him even when he knows his way of doing things is better for him.

Let’s see how the story plays out…

AITA for telling my mom I won’t tell her if anything happens to me?

34M. Parents tend to be annoyingly persistent when they think they know what’s best for me.

I know it comes from a good place but it’s difficult to have conversations with them because if I express a desire to buy/do anything they don’t simply listen or give an opinion; they actively push what they want onto me.

He gives an example of how his parents interfere in his life.

For example: I tell dad I’m looking into getting a new car and considered Car A.

He’ll ask why don’t I look into Car B.

I explicitly tell him why (e.g. expensive and doesn’t suit my lifestyle) but for the next few months he’ll ask at least once a week if I’ve decided on a new car and to look into B again.

My mom (who I know isn’t into cars) will randomly ask me to look into B.

Suddenly “my mom’s friend from her karaoke group whom I’ve never met” is suggesting I look into B. Etc.

Recently, his parents interfered again about a travel bag.

Last year I hit a breaking point.

I was going on a trip and my parents asked if I wanted a new travel bag.

I said my current one’s fine.

They got a new bag anyways and kept asking me if I wanted a new bag. Apparently “this new bag will be much better”, even though they’ve seen my old bag maybe once.

He finally looked at the travel bag his parents bought.

After the 4th or 5th time I told them on WhatsApp to stop asking me if I need a new bag, I’ve repeatedly said I had a perfectly good bag that’s less than a year old.

It’s only been used a few times, and if I don’t think I need a new bag I don’t like being asked about it repeatedly.

The night before the trip they asked again.

I looked at it and it was smaller than my current bag so I can’t even fit everything I want in it.

He told his parents that he doesn’t like when they push their opinions on him.

I went on a long rant about how I dislike how much they try to push what they want onto me. That sometimes what they think is right for me isn’t what I think is right for myself.

When I tell them explicitly why I pick Car A over Car B and they continue to push B it feels like they aren’t listening to me or respecting my decisions.

When they tell me that the bag they got “will be better” than my current bag that they’ve barely seen it’s like they think I don’t know how to buy things for myself.

They acknowledged this and then said they would try to do better.

He sent a “funny story” to his family chat.

Flash forward to a couple days ago.

I told the family chat that I found a huge spider in my car that disappeared when I tried to get rid of it so it might still be in the car.

It was meant to be a funny story.

His mom didn’t take it as a “funny story.”

My mom sends an article on all-natural spider repellents and asked if I wanted her to make one.

I said no.

The next day I stopped by my parents’ house and before I left my mom insisted I hang this bag of herbs in my car to repel spiders.

I told her I didn’t want it.

After she asked 3 more times, I took it and said something like “Next time something happens, I’m just not going to tell you” in Chinese.

She said fine and took the bag back and was visibly annoyed.

He wonders if he was too rude to his mom.

Was this a harsh reaction?

My partner said NTA but my sister said it might have been a bit of an extreme response.

It seems like his parents are only trying to help, but they really need to respect boundaries.

However, it wouldn’t have been clear to me in the group chat that his story was meant to be funny.

Let’s see how Reddit responded…

This reader could tell before he even said it that he’s Chinese.

Another reader thinks this is a cultural problem.

This person doesn’t think OP will be able to change his parents’ behavior.

This reader offers a comeback…

Another reader offers a suggestion to get the advice to stop.

There is one way to get his parents to stop offering advice.

He could just stop telling them about things he’s going to do.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.