Do You Mind? Five of the Loudest Animals on Earth
Stealth isn’t an option for these creatures
Usually, the idea of nature is associated with peace — gentle babbling brooks, quiet rustling of leaves, an occasional frog’s croak.
But not all the sounds of nature — and particularly, the animal kingdom — are peaceful. Anything but actually. In fact, here are five animals that could single-handedly ruin an atmospheric ASMR video.
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One important note first, though: There are other animals that, by decibel, are louder, but don’t bother us. I’ve excluded things like sperm whales firing off underwater sounds, or bats screeching above our audible frequencies because they’re polite enough to make their hooting and hollering not my problem. In other words, the animals on this list are all fully, horribly noticeable to the human ear.
Greengrocer Cicada
Just so you know, we’re starting at 120 decibels, which is approximately the volume of a jet engine. When it comes to bugs, perhaps the absolute leader in being extremely loud and annoying is the cicada. Despite being tiny insects, the males have a membrane on their chest that they vibrate, basically turning their entire body into a tiny, obnoxious drum.
Combine that with the fact that they emerge in massive broods, and you’ve got what is basically a constant, 120-decibel buzzing. Having grown up in cicada migration destination Washington, D.C., I can attest that it’s shockingly loud and never stops.
White Bellbird
I promise you, this video isn’t doctored, even though it feels like an obvious product of video-editing software. This little white bird is the White Bellbird. I’d argue that the word “bell” implies a much more pleasant sound than the ones these tiny birds rocket into a peaceful atmosphere. Their calls have been recorded at 125 decibels, and they don’t seem to have any appreciation for how terrifying that is.
Northern Elephant Seals
The previous two entries at least have the advantage of being non-human and fairly dry sounding. Enter the Northern Elephant Seal, who does no one’s ears any such favors. The calls of the Northern Elephant Seal couldn’t be more clearly coming from a pile of vibrating flesh. Even the biggest nature-loving animal activist would be hard-pressed to describe their 126-decibel moist grunting as “beautiful.”
I imagine this is what Bigfoot would sound like if he was bleeding out. It’s so gross, in fact, that the sound effects designer for Lord of the Rings stole it for the orcs of Moria.
Moluccan Cockatoo
One of the only birds capable of out-screaming the White Bellbird is the Moluccan Cockatoo. According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the San Diego Zoo recorded its Moluccan Cockatoos as screaming at 135 decibels. They also sound undeniably awful. The most messed-up part of all of this? People own these as pets, which must be some form of strange auditory masochism.
Howler Monkey
It turns out that the howler monkey is well-deserving of the nickname, thanks to their incredible ability to hoot and holler. Their eponymous howl has been recorded at an ear-shattering 140 decibels, as produced by a unique anatomy developed for belting barks. If a group of howler monkeys get together for a little horrible a cappella session, you’ll know about it from up to three miles away.
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