Adopting a child is an amazing option for parents who are struggling with infertility, or even for any parents who simply want to give a children in need a loving home.
But it’s a BIG change for a child to go through, especially if they’re old enough to understand and process the huge shift in family dynamic they are undergoing.
So when this user was set to adopt a pair of siblings with her partner, their families wanted to meet their new family members right away, but the couple wanted to give the kids a month to adjust.
Were they wrong to prioritize the kids’ comfort over their family’s wish to meet them?
Decide for yourself!
AITA for telling my family I don’t want them to visit for the first month my Adopted Children are with me?
I (35F) and my Husband (37M) have been matched with a pair of siblings (12M) and (9F) after years of fertility struggles and almost 3 years waiting to be approved to adopt.
They will be arriving at our home on Sunday afternoon.
My Husband and I are so excited but also terrified, we’d only expected one child but when we were told about them we knew that we would be taking them.
Although both of their families wanted to visit ASAP, OP and her husband had some hard rules for them…
We’ve asked both our families to not come visit at all during the first month the children are with us.
This way we can get them settled into a routine, as this will be a high stress situation for them and we want them to not be overwhelmed.
We have suggested they all write letters and include pictures etc so they can get to know them all.
And while her husband’s family was happy to oblige, OP’s family was a little more… resistant.
My Husbands family have accepted this readily but my family has been giving some pushback on this feeling we are being ridiculous.
My Mum said she could understand wanting a couple of days, maybe a week to get them settled but a month was coddling them.
Me telling her that given their situation coddling is the least we can do did not exactly go over well.
But their rules weren’t going anywhere…
My Husband and I are not backing down on this as we feel certain it’s the right move to give them time to adjust.
But what should be a happy time for us now has me stressed as I worry my family may just come around despite us asking for this and I don’t like this is causing trouble with my family.
AITA for not giving any adjustment here and trying to meet my family halfway?
At the end of the day, if OP’s family doesn’t “like” the rules, that’s their problem! They’re not the ones adopting the kids, and they’re not the ones who get to decide the rules.
One user pointed out that meeting too many people at once is overwhelming for most adults.
And this user said that they needed to talk with the children about when they felt comfortable meeting her family.
Many people said that their family has a lot to learn about integrating adopted children into their family.
Maybe they need to wait a little longer than a month!
If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.
