Handling family who is seriously ill is a tough job, and it becomes harder when they’re fully dependent.
This girl’s mother has a terminal illness and expects her daughter to lift her when she needs to be moved.
Only problem? The daughter’s back can’t take it anymore!
Find out how things went wrong between them.
AITA for refusing to lift my mom?
My mom is terminally ill and paralyzed so cannot do anything for herself.
This includes absolutely everything so to get in and out of bed she needs to be lifted for example.
They are fully equipped to handle mom’s needs.
We currently have not one but 2 cranes for lifting patients in the household which my mother refuses to use at all costs.
My mother has aid workers that have always done the lifting but currently there are only 2 women who are not willing to lift manually (understandably).
The women were recently hired to switch the previous workers and the agreement was my mom would use the crane to be lifted.
She was suffering from pains herself…
Backing up a bit, about 6 months ago I started having extreme pain in my back and leg to the point I couldn’t walk for several weeks, then I was diagnosed a herniated disc and sciatica.
There were periods on and off where I would often need to manually lift my mom when workers were being replaced etc so it is completely possible the herniated disc was caused by that.
She communicated the issue through!
I obviously updated my family about my back and said I would no longer be able to lift my mom for the foreseeable future due to the injury and everyone was understanding.
All of a sudden my mom is saying part of the reason she doesn’t use the crane is because the seat isn’t comfortable which was never mentioned before.
It’s still going to be a lot of work!
We are ordering a different seat but by the time it comes will be days that someone needs to lift her.
I have been asked to do the lifting and did it multiple times yesterday and today and my back is starting to feel it.
She wants her mom to be a little more thoughtful.
I told my mom that it’s not ok she put me in this position and we’ve asked her and agreed to use the crane and knowing the issues with my back is still insisting I lift her.
AITA for saying I can’t do it?
Maybe both the mother and the daughter can talk the issue through and find a common ground.
Let’s find out what folks on Reddit suggest this girl.
This user knows getting rigid is the only way for this girl to help her mother.
This user suggests using the lifts and the tools available because that’s what they are made for.
This user wonders why the mother would think the she can convince the daughter to continue lifting her.
This person feels sorry for both of the women.
This user states some harsh facts. The mother needs to drop her demand.
This situation is already hard enough.
Hopefully the mother will find a way to make things easier.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.
