Sex & Love
People Revealed Big Warning Signs That Made Them Go, “Yup, I'm Falling Out Of Love With This Person”
Well, their warning signs, red flags, and big indicators were pretty darn enlightening. They’re all 100% valid, and should be taken into consideration when it comes to delving into a romantic partnership and sustaining it.
So, here are some major warning signs that made some people go, “Yup, I’m falling out of love with my significant other:”
Note: Some submissions include topics of sexual abuse. Please proceed with caution.
1. “I was once in a relationship where I would lie about sales appointments in the evening just to get a few more hours away instead of being anxious and upset with her when coming home. I wasn’t cheating, nothing messed up — I just stayed out.”
2. “You can tell when you are not interested in the little things to make them happy. Like making them a snack, the little nice text messages, random non-sexual physical affection, or doing one of their chores for them (all unprompted). Arguably, you could say that you are starting to no longer care about their happiness.”
3. “[You don’t want to be intimate with them anymore]. After years of abuse with my ex-husband, I looked up if I was asexual. I finally left. Now I fuck every morning with my new man (sometimes multiple times a day). It’s been years. Who knew that being pushed around is a libido killer?”
4. “When you no longer feel excited to share good news with them or include them in important moments.”
“I held off telling my husband about my promotion because I knew he would be awful about it. He started with, ‘Why is work the only thing you ever talk about? (it wasn’t). It ended with, ‘Work shouldn’t be more important to you than me’ (it wasn’t).
In the end, I didn’t say anything at all and left him (for this and many other reasons). But realizing that I actually had stopped telling him anything at all was the real kicker.”
5. “Having a sense of dread about them. You dread having to spend time with them, getting a text from them, having to talk to them, calling them, or saying ‘I love you’ to them. You may not notice it, but it’s been a long time since you’ve initiated anything. You might also have someone else in mind that you’d rather tell first whenever you have something to talk about or something to do.”
“You don’t want to work things out. There isn’t anything to work because you just don’t like them (you might have more frequent arguments, but oddly, this is the one thing I’d say varies between couples when one or both fall out of love).”
6. “When you stop caring, even to get angry. I knew my last relationship was over when I realized I wouldn’t even be mad if he cheated on me.”
7. “I can’t stand the sight of him. It happened when I overheard him bad-mouthing me to my doctor when I was admitted to the emergency room with a near-death illness. I never got over it because it was a deep betrayal that I never expected. Now I know who he really is. There were so many other things along the way that I overlooked, but this was the end.”
8. “You stop going to bed together. People do it so they can have quiet time to themselves. It can be ‘normal,’ but it can also be an escape for a person to ‘catch their breath.'”
9. “Everything you loved about them just starts to irritate you. It’s like you can’t find one thing that you like about them anymore.”
10. “I am very much a giver, but the second it’s not reciprocated, I’m out! And I’m not talking giving and taking 100%, but you can easily notice when it’s 80%/20% or 90%/10%.”
11. “When you lose the energy to confront the challenges that need confronting. I spent way too long on my last relationship. It got to the point where the same arguments kept repeating. Arguments are part of any relationship, but once they get to a point where you don’t even want to speak to them or feel relief when they give you the silent treatment, it’s time to call it quits.”
12. “You seem obligated to talk or hang with your partner rather than wanting to talk or hang out.”
13. “When you can’t pretend to care about things they like but you don’t have any interest in. Like if he likes cars, you can’t even pretend to be interested when he talks about it.”
14. “I may notice a decline in her desire to hug, kiss, or touch my partner. Physical closeness that once felt natural might now feel forced or uncomfortable.”
15. “The way you say their name. It begins to sound like a roll call list and not like you’re saying the name of someone you missed seeing.”
16. “One girl I dated, we would talk on the phone every weekday night. I started to dread receiving those phone calls when I realized I wasn’t attracted to her. We didn’t have much in common, and we were both holding back due to our recent breakups — so the breakup was mutual.”
17. “When you’re daydreaming about someone else (and not just in a ‘crush’ way, but in a ‘life would be better if I were with them instead’ way). That’s when I realized I wasn’t in love anymore. That’s when I realized I wasn’t in love anymore. It wasn’t fair to either of us at that point.”
18. “Honestly, man, you just know. The thought of losing them stops scaring you.”
19. “With my long-distance ex, it became a chore to call them daily to talk about our days. I felt such relief and a sense of freedom whenever we hung up. There was tension and anxiety whenever we were together, like, ‘Oh, shoot, I have to show her that I love her.'”
20. And finally, “If old conflicts or grievances are surfacing more often and you’re struggling to move past them, it might indicate underlying dissatisfaction. And when you find yourself thinking more about your own needs and desires rather than considering how your partner fits into your life, it might be a sign of a growing distance.”
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
Let’s flip the script a little bit here, folks: What were some healthy signs, green flags, and positive indicators that made you realize your partner/significant other was endgame?
Share with us in the comments below, or in this Google Form if you want to remain anonymous.
