They didn’t hold anything back, and got candid about everything they’ve kept from men over the years. Their secrets ranged from pretty harsh to very valid, but above all, extremely eye-opening.
So, here are some real as heck truths women have kept from men:
Note: Some submissions were pulled from this Reddit thread by user iluvfreakyshit1.
Note: Some submissions include topics of sexual assault. Please proceed with caution.
1. “I do not share really private, explicit things about my partner and I with my friends. It’s private and intimate for a reason, and should be kept as such unless discussed.”
“Same — I have known people who will go into great detail about their sex lives, but I do not. I keep it between my partner and I.”
2. “We treat men with kid gloves. We try to keep men happy and fed, we turn down advances in whatever way will make men feel the best about themselves, and we work extremely hard to keep men from turning angry. We fear men’s anger because we know all too well that it can (and often) does end in death for us. So, we end up coddling all men for our own protection.”
3. “We are just as gross (if not GROSSER) than you are. From letting huge farts rip and giggling to staring at period clots, yeah…we be nasty. We’re just better at hiding it and cleaning up the evidence. ;)”
4. “I’m a straight woman, and I think all dicks are ugly. Even if I like you a lot, it’s just not exciting to look at. Obviously, if we’ve gotten that far where we’ve seen each other naked, I like looking at the rest of you, though.”
5. “If I buy a piece of jewelry, new shoes, a new purse, or anything for myself, I fib about the cost. If it’s a $250 purse, I’ll lie and say I ‘splurged’ and spent $100 on the handbag. It’s just easier this way, and he has no clue about the cost of anything I buy for myself.”
6. “I don’t put effort into my appearance to attract attention from men (‘male attention is abundant and low-value’). I do it because it feels like putting on armor, another layer of protection against being vulnerable. There’s also a sense of being intimidating and ‘above reproach’ that feels safe — like, you can try to critique me, but not my appearance.”
“It really just reflects how messed-up social dynamics can be (and shoutout to the childhood trauma of habitual bullying 💕).”
8. “How much I actually cry. Sad? Cry. Angry? Cry. Super happy? Tears of joy. It’s frustrating most of the time and I don’t want it to be misunderstood as me being ‘irrationally emotional.’ I can think just fine, thank you — my eyes are just leaking.”
9. “Jealousy issues. Due to a long and weird complicated issue towards the beginning of our relationship, I’ve got a knee-jerk reaction to some old female friends of his (and occasionally new ones who pop up).”
10. “Sometimes I suggest watching porn while we have sex because I feel bad that they have to have sex with me. This way, they can pretend they’re having it with someone else.”
11. “I kinda wish I lived in the fifties because I really like taking care of people. I have so much love to give, and I’d make a kickass house wife/stay-at-home mom. I’m not saying anything about gender roles whatsoever, just that the lifestyle would personally suit me.”
12. “How insecure I can be, my self-doubt, and how much I care. In my past, men don’t handle my sensitivity very well.”
13. “How much I compare their actions to those of my father. If I see something too similar, it raises a red flag for me. I can feel myself emotionally withdraw from a man when something they do or say reminds me of the way my dad used to make me feel growing up. I’m married to a great man who is the opposite of my dad. I’m grateful every day that our future children won’t have to feel as small as I did growing up.”
14. “Sometimes I just can’t orgasm. They can do everything right and it can feel AMAZING, but for whatever reason, my body just can’t crest that hill. I think it is mostly psychological due to sexual assault/abuse previously, and I don’t want them to feel inadequate when or, in fact, it has nothing to do with them. So, I will exaggerate a bit and constrict my vaginal muscles to simulate an orgasm. I don’t consider it faking, and if they ask me outright, I will be honest with them. I just see it as bending the truth for their benefit.”
15. “Some of my sexual fantasies. Like, I’m sure my significant other doesn’t want to hear about how I daydream about having group sex with all of his friends.”
16. “Giving birth to my son felt great. There was pain, especially during labor (hella pain). But the actual pushing part felt amazing despite also hurting a bit. I don’t think most people understand, especially men. The best way I can describe it is like doing a really big poo that feels great to squeeze out, even if you’re borderline ripping your asshole (if you’ve been constipated, you know this feeling).”
17. “My ‘number.’ Look, dudes: you should appreciate that you are the current beneficiary of a lot of education and practice on my part. Rather than care who came before you, care that I leveled up aggressively. Would you rather be the first guy I fucked, or the last? Reap the benefits, babe, because if you’re good at stuff, I’m silently composing a thank you note and picking out an Edible Arrangement (zing!) for whoever taught you THAT move.”
18. “I don’t tell them my real body count. I always give them a lower number because having a body count higher than, like, five is considered ‘shameful’ for women. I once told a guy my real number, and he slut-shamed me (even though it’s not that high, and would be a perfectly ‘normal’ one for a dude). His was higher, by the way. It definitely feeds into the patriarchy, and I should just own it — but most men have a culturally ingrained negative conception of it and would deem me less worthy.”
19. And finally, “We have more hair than you might think, and we hide it pretty well. I’m talking about the stray hairs on our chin, nipples, and butt. 😅”
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
