As a 38-year-old, sometimes I look back at the person I was in my 20s and cringe. So when I came across this Reddit thread of people sharing how their 30s are different from their 20s, I found myself nodding along to much of what people had to say. Here are some of the top comments:
1. “You know yourself better and don’t care that much anymore what others think of you!”
2. “I’m 40 now so they’re both gone. My 30s were about maturing, whereas my 20s were about avoiding maturing.”
4. “Everything takes a little bit longer to recover from. It takes a bit more work to regulate oneself. You need to make sure you’re sleeping, exercising, eating right, and cutting down on drink/drugs.”
5. “Kids taking up all my time. I had nothing but time in my 20s. Despite working full time, my husband and I still had time for video games, cooking elaborate meals, reading, friends, various hobbies, travel, and even naps! Now, I have to get up at 5 a.m. just to be able to find 30 minutes to work out.”
6. “My unrealized life goals are more disappointing.”
“I had that as I was approaching/hitting 30, but shortly after, I came to the conclusion that my goals were BS to begin with, either there to impress others or put there because others told me I should.
When I reevaluated the goals instead of myself, I felt a lot better.”
7. “I’m asked, ‘When are you getting married?’ and ‘When are you having children? far more frequently.”
8. “I wasted my 20s trying to convince this loser I was worth it. I turned 30 and decided to convince myself that I was worth it. So many doors have opened up for me, and I’m finally coming into my own.”
9. “More money, a lot more fun, enjoying having reached the goals I was striving towards in my 20s. The only downside is seeing your parents get old.”
“Seeing my parents getting older and older is heartbreaking.”
10. “More creaking and aches and pains. One day, you’ll throw your back out doing something mundane and will live in fear of it forever.”
11. “20s: I needed to go out when I had free time. 30s: I need to stay in to recover when I have free time.”
12. “Everyone goes through life differently, but the second half of my twenties were the roughest for me in terms of anxiety. Maybe this is when I was really transitioning into being an adult, and getting out of college was like a big dose of oh shit, what now? I’m 33 now and so much happier. Like others have said, you know what you do and don’t like, and don’t feel pressured to go with the crowd as much anymore. Your social circle gets smaller, life hopefully gets smaller too but in a good way (less complicated), and you start to focus on only the things that really matter to you. It’s nice. Get off social media and simplify your life.”
13. “Your 30s is when you begin reaping what you sowed in your 20s. Both good and bad. Made smart health choices? Congrats, you’re going to feel much better physically on a day-to-day basis than people who sat around eating junk food. Neglected being serious about self-improvement or career stuff? Well, 30s is when that comes home to roost. Basically, every action you take in your 20s is a deposit in the bank of what you want your 30s to be.”
14. “When you are a teenager, you begin to understand how the world works, but you don’t really know why it works that way. In your 20s, you begin to understand why things are the way they are, but you still don’t really feel like you are a part of it yet (‘I don’t feel like an adult, lol’). In my 30s, I feel very much like a grown-ass adult. I have a la whole heap of responsibilities, a little more money, and increasingly I just want most people to fuck off and leave me alone. I expect my 40s will be more of the latter.”
“40s dude here.
Yuuuup.”
15. “Self-awareness. I’ve become more self-aware and confident in who I am. My 30s have brought a better understanding of my values, goals, and what I want out of life. There’s a greater sense of knowing myself and what truly matters. Priorities: My priorities have shifted. While my 20s were often about exploring, experimenting, and figuring things out, my 30s have been more about solidifying goals, focusing on personal and professional growth, and building a stable foundation.”
16. “The good: a lot less self-conscious, you realize you don’t have to impress everyone and can focus your attention on being your genuine Mixed: I’ve found the time and distance from childhood has helped me unpack a lot of stuff that happened when I was a kid/teen. It’s both healing and also painful to work through. The bad: back pain, lol.”
17. “Your 30s is when the big shift in gears occurs. 20s were all about going out, doing stuff, meeting people, going on adventures, figuring out WHAT you want to do with your life. 30s is when, ideally, you have figured much of that, ‘What do you want to do?’ Instead of running around crazy, you move with a purpose and a general idea of where you want to be and go. Instead of going out to a club where you know no one, you want to go instead to hang out with the key friends and loved ones you have assembled. Instead of dating 4,000 people, you feel that desire to settle down and find real love. Instead of being fine living off of ramen noodles and living with three other roommates to split the rent in a craphole apartment, you want to get your own place and make it nice.”
“It’s easy to say things ‘slow down,’ but thats really not true at all. It’s a shifting of gears because the reality is you are still hustling to get all those things; it’s just you are wasting less time and effort on the wastes of time and you know better what you need to be doing and NOT be doing.”
18. “It’s less ‘world is your oyster’ and more, this is it, I guess. Although it’s not too late to start new things, your options do narrow somewhat.”
“That’s how most people see it, but I don’t think it has to be that way. Yes, your options do narrow, but there’s still an almost limitless amount of things you can spend time on. Just because you didn’t get a degree in something doesn’t mean the last 10 years of your life were for naught. You can easily transition that experience somewhere else.
Except for pro sports. That door is shut for good.”
19. “Deep into alcoholism in my 20s vs. sober and loving life in my 30s (I’m 37 and sobered up at 29). I still feel like I’m playing catch up on life, but overall, I’m happy, have a wonderful girlfriend, a good job, and have a lot of fun doing things without booze.”
20. “In my 30s, I started to realize and internalize the idea that most of my bad experiences with others (family, friends, neighbors) weren’t as personal as I JUDGED them to be.”
21. And finally, “Enough perspective to look back at some situations with a different viewpoint. The coolest person in high school? Actually, they were an embarrassing anal gland of a human. Parents? They could have bought cars and gone to Hawaii, but instead, we went to college. That person in college who marched to their own beat? They figured it out early.”
Were your 30s different than your 20s? How so? Tell me all about it in the comments.
