63 Real Estate Jokes to Make Agents, Investors & Clients LOL
Let’s face it: The real estate industry can be tough. There are so many constantly changing high points and low points for you and your clients that can be draining. Before responding negatively—like running away from your career or letting your clients give up—take a few minutes to breathe, grab your favorite cappuccino, and read through some real estate jokes to remember the positive and humor in every situation.
Real Estate Puns & Wordplay
When most people think of real estate agent jokes, they think about funny one-liners with puns and wordplay. Real estate puns like these are great to have on hand for social media or in-person conversations. Plus, it’s easy to turn any real estate joke into a brand-building piece of content by simply creating a graphic with Canva.
Canva social media templates (Source: Canva)
Canva is a graphic design tool with thousands of templates for every social media platform and print materials like postcards, flyers, and brochures. It takes less than five minutes to put a joke into a Canva-branded template, even if you have no previous design experience. Start using Canva for free.
1. The Detective Agent
2. No More for You
“Buy land, they’re not making it anymore.”
—Mark Twain
3. Halloween Humor
“What room in your house are zombies most afraid of? The living room.”
—@jondorealestate on Instagram
4. Forrest Gump’s Bestie
“If Forrest Gump ran a property management group, what would it be called? New Tenant Dan.”
—Weichert Rainbow Properties, LinkedIn
5. Appraiser Buzz
“Did you know property appraisers always carry a bee? Because the value is always in the eye of the Bee Holder.”
Home valuation website landing page (Source: Real Geeks)
This joke would be a unique and fun way to share your home valuation page by text, email, or social media. Sharing this type of content is especially easy with a lead generation platform like Real Geeks, which offers customizable landing pages, email marketing, and SMS marketing. This is a great strategy to combine your personality with effective lead generation tools.
6. Picnic Pains
“What’s the difference between a realtor and a picnic table? The picnic table can support a family of four.”
7. Couch Potato Agents
“Hey, I might be looking to find a new brokerage. How many agents work at yours? About half!”
8. I Wanna Wish You…
“What’s a realtor’s favorite Christmas song? For lease Navidad.”
—Truly Title, Facebook
9. Best Properties
“My best-selling properties are listings with finished basements. They’re my best cellars!”
—@thereiteclub on Instagram
Really Real Realtors segment on Ellen—Part 1 (Source: YouTube)
10. How Rude!
“How did the real estate agent handle the rude client? She showed her some manors.”
—@yackelineleidermanrealtor on Instagram
11. Give Thanks
“What do agents have to be thankful for? Lots.”
12. The Weight of a House
“What kind of house weighs the least? A lighthouse.”
—Zach Holder, Facebook
13. The Last House
“Have you heard about the last house in the neighborhood? It was last but not leased.”
—Precious Properties, Facebook
Avail rental listing tool (Source: Avail)
This is an excellent joke for real estate investors or landlords. You can even use it to introduce a unit or property available for lease. With software like Avail, you can publish a rental listing and automatically get placements on top rental sites like Realtor.com, Apartments.com, and Redfin. It’s also a comprehensive property management software with additional tools to evaluate tenants, manage maintenance, and collect rent payments.
14. Dressed Up House
“What kind of dress does a house wear? An address.”
15. Real Estate in Egypt
“I was offered the chance to buy some real estate in Egypt’s Valley of the Kings, but it turned out to be just a pyramid-selling scheme.”
16. Hide Your License
“Why did an agent decide to hide his realtor license? Because he wanted to be a secret agent.”
17. Two-story House
“A real estate agent sold me a two-story house, one story before the sale and the other after it.”
—Palm Beach, SoWal
18. Mortgage Pick-up Line
“Hey girl, is your name mortgage? Because you’ve got my interest.”
—@sellwithlynell on Instagram
19. Real Estate Therapy
‘Why was the realtor in counseling? They couldn’t get closure.”
—@kevinvictor.realestate on Instagram
Real estate therapy meme (Source: LinkedIn)
20. Bats & Real Estate Agents
“How are bats like real estate agents? It’s all (echo) location location location.”
—ChrisCGC, Reddit
21. Mortgage Broker’s Lunch Break
“Why did the mortgage broker always eat lunch by himself? Because he was a loaner.”
—Tim Caroll, Facebook
22. An Agent with a Ladder
“Why did the real estate agent bring a ladder to the open house? Because they heard the property had high aspirations!”
23. A Roof Joke
“Did you hear the joke about the roof? I doubt you’d get it—it’s over your head.”
Real estate joke graphic by Kate Siciliano (Source: Facebook)
Real Estate Riddles & Stories
Riddles are another type of realtor joke that can be used strategically to share your personality, break tension, or build your online brand. The right riddle can make someone laugh out loud and can show clients that you understand how they’re feeling and know how to relate to them.
24. Mortgage Is Due
“What do you feel every month when the mortgage is due? Homesick.”
—My Mortgage, LinkedIn
25. Real Estate in Texas
A couple walks into a Texas real estate office looking to buy a house. The real estate agent shows them a nice little ranch, but the price seems a bit high.
Husband: “This is great, but the price is a little steep. Don’t you have anything bigger for the money?”
Agent: “Well, sir, everything’s bigger in Texas! Including the property taxes.
—Unknown
26. A Contractor Legend
“What do great affordable contractors have in common with UFOs? You always hear stories about them, but no one you know has actually seen one.”
—@jessicaculprealtor on Instagram
27. The Highly Desirable Agent
A real estate agent meets with his manager to discuss a raise.
Agent: “I need a raise in my commission, there are three other companies after me.”
Manager: “Is that so? What other companies are after you?”
Agent: “The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company.”
28. Mommy’s Home
A young real estate agent was out door knocking one afternoon and came upon a little girl sitting on a stoop. She says, “Hi there, my name is Stacey. Is your mommy home?”
The little girl nods and says yes, so the realtor starts ringing the doorbell. After five minutes with no answer, she turns back to the little girl and asks her, “Hey, I thought you said your mommy was home?”
The girl says, “My mommy is home, but I live across the street.”
—Bob Limosani, LinkedIn
29. Agent IQ
Einstein dies and goes to heaven. The first person he sees, he asks, “Excuse me? What’s your IQ?”
The person replies, “280.” Einstein says, “Great! We can talk about astrophysics!”
The second person he runs into, he asks the same question: “What’s your IQ?” The person replies, “150.” “Great!” says Einstein, “We can talk about events of the day!”
The third person he sees, he once again asks about their IQ. This time, the person says 45! Einstein says, “Great! Where do you think the real estate market is headed??!!”
30. A Real Tragedy
An old man was on his deathbed. He wanted badly to take some of his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor, and his real estate agent to his bedside.
Old Man: “Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me.”
At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, “I only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 for a new baptistery.”
“Well, since we’re confiding in each other,” said the doctor, “I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital, which cost $20,000.”
The real estate agent was aghast and said, “I’m ashamed of both of you. I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000.”
31. Landlord of a French Castle
A tour guide was leading a group of tourists through some of the most beautiful sights and sounds in France. One of the stops was a majestic, ancient castle in the countryside.
“This castle was built nearly 900 years ago,” said the guide. “All of the features are original—not one wall has been altered, and not a single stone has been changed. There has not been a single upgrade, superficial or functional, in all these years.”
When the tour guide said this, a man in the group nudged his wife and whispered in her ear, “Gosh honey, they must have the same landlords we do.”
32. The Devil and the Agent
“Look, I can make you richer, more famous, and more successful than any other real estate agent alive,” the devil tells a real estate agent. “In fact, I can turn you into the greatest agent in history.”
“Well, what do I have to do in return?” replies the real estate agent.
The devil chuckles. “Of course, you must give me your soul,” he adds, “but you must also give me the souls of your children, your children’s children, and, in fact, you must give me the souls of all your descendants throughout eternity.”
“Wait a minute,” the realtor cautions, “what’s the catch?”
—Inna Ivchenko, Barcode Properties
33. A Creative Lawyer
A lawyer who had 12 children was in a tight bind because his rental agreement was coming to an end, and he was looking for a new home. He could not easily find one because no one wanted a tenant who had 12 children who would most likely destroy the house.
Since he was a lawyer, he could not easily lie about his family situation. So, on the day a new real estate agent came to meet up with him, he told 11 of his children and his wife to go to the cemetery.
During the interview, the real estate agent asked, “How many children do you have?”
He answered truthfully, “Twelve.”
Seeing he only has one beside him, the agent curiously asked, “Where are the rest, then?”
The lawyer answered with a sad look, “They’re in the cemetery with their mother.”
And that’s how his agreement was signed, and he was able to rent a new home without lying.
34. All the Right Signs
A small real estate broker was dismayed when a brand-new real estate franchise, much like his own, opened up next door and erected a huge sign that read, “BEST AGENTS.”
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his other side and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading “LOWEST COMMISSIONS.”
The small real estate broker panicked until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own brokerage.
It read, “MAIN ENTRANCE.”
—MacWorks Investments, Facebook
35. The Gypsy & the Doctor’s House
The gypsy and the doctor are both in the market looking for houses. The doctor decides that he wants his own custom house. So he buys a plot of land. And, seeing the doctor as a smart man, the gypsy does the same.
Once construction on the houses had begun, the gypsy copied everything the doctor did. The doctor put stones in his house, and so did the gypsy. The doctor built an interlock driveway, and so did the gypsy. In the end, both had identical houses.
A few months later, being the flexible person he is, the doctor decides to get his house appraised, and so does the gypsy.
When the real estate agent asked the doctor how much he thought the house was worth, the doctor immediately said $1 million. And so the real estate agent put up that price. Then the real estate agent asked the gypsy what he thought his house was worth, and instantly, the gypsy said $1.2 million.
The real estate agent asks the gypsy why he thinks his house is worth more if they both have the exact same, identical house. And the gypsy responds, “Because whoever buys my house has a doctor for a neighbor, but whoever buys his house gets a gypsy!”
—Daboi1, Reddit
One-liners and Conversation Starters
Funny real estate jokes can be used for a variety of purposes—it can be as simple as breaking the tension in person or sharing a post on Instagram. Realtor jokes can also be used as conversation starters, helping you share value in a unique and engaging way. The following jokes about real estate can be a perfect segue into an important topic that will intrigue leads.
36. I’m Staying Put
“My real estate agent did such a great job describing my house in the listing that I’ve decided to keep it.”
If you want a listing marketing plan that is as strong as this joke, consider using Market Leader. It’s a lead generation platform that also offers a full content marketing suite and automated listing marketing materials. Every time you publish a listing, the software will automatically send an email to your list, postcards to your mailing list, and create a single property website. Start leveraging Market Leader for better-quality marketing today.
37. Burnt the Deal
“Ninety percent of the people in this city hate carpeting. The other 10% just hate your carpeting.”
—Suraj Gogoi, LinkedIn
38. The Laughing Agent
“Real estate agents need to laugh at their problems. Everybody else does.”
39. Words of Wisdom
The only problem with being on time for your showings is that no one else is there to appreciate it.
40. Seasons Change
“Start worrying about climate change when realtors start listing properties as potential waterfront homes.”
—Adrienne Garcia, LinkedIn
41. Lenders Care
“If you ever feel like no one cares, miss a mortgage payment.”
—Adrienne Garcia, LinkedIn
42. The Hipster Agent
“The real reason why hipster real estate agents won’t show the oceanside property is that it’s too current.”
—@levensteam_sf on Instagram
43. Dad Jokes
“Someone asked me if I read Realtor Magazine. I said yes, periodically.”
44. House for Cats
“The real estate in my area is so hot right now, only cats can afford it. You’ll need nine lives to pay it off.”
—@mikeyveal on Instagram
45. Real Estate Calculation
“A real estate agent has two property listings. Now add 11 more. What does the agent have now? Happiness. That agent has happiness.”
46. Realtors Screwing in a Lightbulb
“How many real estate agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?”
“It takes just one realtor to screw your quality bulb into the gold-plated chandelier hanging from your vaulted ceiling with crown moldings and skylights in your English Tudor home located in an upscale neighborhood with a private lake and golf course. Must see!”
—Expand Realty, Facebook
47. Pay Attention to the Signs
“It’s important to look closely at lawn signs during election campaigns. Last time I voted for a real estate agent.”
Signs real estate joke (Source: Biblio)
48. The Haunted Listing
“The real estate agent for our house says it’s haunted, but he’s talking nonsense. I’ve lived here 327 years and never seen anything.”
—Unknown
49. Girlfriend or Real Estate Agent?
“Guys if she: Always makes time for you, always responds to texts quickly, is concerned about your needs, answers all of your questions, wants to meet your friends and family, and helps with hard decisions, she’s not your girlfriend. She’s your real estate agent.”
Funny real estate agent Facebook post
(Source: Facebook)
50. How a Real Estate Agent Is Like Wine
“A real estate agent is like wine. You can choose a cheap one, but don’t complain about where you wake up.”
Real estate agent joke (Source: Facebook)
51. Realtor Open Mic
- “You’re so flashy with your ‘For Sale’ signs, I mistook you for a sign spinner at a busy intersection.”
- “Your virtual tours are so shaky, I thought I was watching the Blair Witch Project!”
- “Your commission is so low, even a limbo dancer couldn’t get under it.”
- “More people show up to my kid’s lemonade stand than your open houses.”
- “You’ve lost more keys than a locksmith in an earthquake.”
- “Your property photos are so bad, they make haunted houses look inviting.”
- “You’ve had more missed closings than a broken elevator.”
- “Your properties have been on the market so long, they’re now historical landmarks.”
- “Your idea of a modern home is one with dial-up internet.”
- “Your marketing strategy is like a silent auction: nobody knows about it.”
- “You’re so bad at negotiating, you’d pay full price for a half-off sale.”
- “Your property tours are so long, I brought a sleeping bag.”
- “Your ‘For Sale’ signs are so old, they’re in black and white.”
- “You’re so new to real estate, you think MLS is a soccer league.”
- “You price homes like you’re playing ‘The Price is Right’—always guessing and never winning.”
- “Your property ads are so dull, they’re used as sleep aids.”
- “You change brokers more often than I change socks!”
- “Your idea of staging a home is making sure the chairs don’t wobble.”
Unconventional Real Estate Jokes
When most people think of jokes, they think of knee-slapping humor or the comedy punchline drum roll. However, incorporating real estate humor into your brand can look much different than just funny one-liners about real estate.
Jokes can be used as a graphic with text, as a recognizable meme, or even in video form. In addition, some realtor jokes that get the most engagement aren’t typical jokes with a punchline, but funny images of a real estate transaction or a sarcastic quote.
Really Real Realtors segment on Ellen—Part 2 (Source: YouTube)
52. Real Estate Showings Comic
Seller’s market comic (Source: Facebook)
53. Proof of Funds
Real estate proof of funds (Source: Facebook)
54. The Market Is Crashing
@tiktoksfavrealtor Everyone waiting for AirBnB to collpase the market like 👁️👄👁️ #housingmarket #fyp #realtoroftiktok #realestate #homebuyer #buyingahouse #realestatehumor #news #realtoroftiktok #realtorhumor #house CREDIT: @Austin Johnson ♬ original sound – Leah Fish
Lowball offer (Source: TikTok)
55. Buyers Watching Interest Rates
@whatsamortgage_ #CapCut if only…#realestatehumor #funnymemes #housingmarket ♬ original sound – Koosh604
@whatsamortgage interest rate joke (Source: TikTok)
56. Real Estate Listing Humor
Bathroom feature in a real estate listing (Source: LinkedIn)
Real Estate Investor Jokes
Being a real estate investor can be an exciting but stressful career choice, and it requires a different type of marketing than being an agent. Real estate investing jokes can be used to find comic relief in your day, connect with other investors, or market yourself to homeowners.
57. Insect Property
“How many insects do you need to make money from your rental property? Ten-ants.”
58. House Visit
“Why did the house make an appointment with the doctor? It had a window pane.”
59. Florida Real Estate Jokes
Gator in living room (Source: Stock Image)
“Here in Florida, we have alligators who actually own rental properties. We call them invest-igators.”
—Gibraltar Title, Inc., Facebook
60. The Strong Armed Agent
“Why are real estate agents so strong? Because they flip houses.”
Sample lead information (Source: REDX)
Whether you flip your own properties or work with investors, knowing how to find leads with distressed properties is an important skill. REDX is an ideal tool that offers niche real estate leads, like expired listings, preforeclosures, and for sale by owner (FSBO) properties, along with a built-in customer relationship management (CRM) software and dialer. Try using REDX to find new houses to flip.
61. A Bad Investment
“I finally figured out how to make a quick million bucks in real estate. Start out with 2 million, and in no time at all, you’ll have a million left!”
62. Prime Real Estate
“An investor was puzzled. He knew his best return on investment was to split his property into equally sized spaces. No matter what he did, it was impossible. Finally, he figured out it was impossible because it was PRIME real estate.”
63. The Wicked Witch of Investments
Wicked witch flipping a house comic
(Source: Facebook)
When to Use Real Estate Jokes
Becoming a real estate agent and building a successful real estate business could be stressful. However, there are so many good things about being an agent, like the ability to work on your own time and help people find the perfect home for themselves and their families. Both experienced and new real estate agents need to sit back, relax, and have fun with their businesses.
In turn, enjoying your business can actually help you find more clients and establish your real estate brand with humor. Most people don’t want to work with someone who isn’t passionate about real estate or is visibly stressed out. Share jokes on social media posts, in marketing materials, during company or team meetings, or as an icebreaker during an appointment with a client.
Here are a couple of examples of how realtor jokes can be used effectively in person and in your real estate social media marketing strategy:
Using jokes in your real estate Facebook posts is a great way to generate engagement. It’s important to share your listings, open houses, and client wins on social media, but many of your followers might ignore those posts if they’re not entertaining. When you share relatable real estate jokes on Facebook, however, it’s easier to get more likes, comments, and shares, which helps increase your exposure.
Termite pun on real estate agent Facebook page (Source: Facebook)
Since the focus of Instagram is photos and videos, it’s a perfect place for real estate memes or images with different kinds of real estate jokes. It’s a great way to use your branding on a simple graphic or include your own face, like @realtor_skoloda.
Even though LinkedIn is a platform primarily for business connections, it doesn’t always have to be extremely serious. Even corporate or commercial real estate clients can appreciate your sense of humor. One of the best real estate agent tips is to repurpose your content on as many platforms as possible. LinkedIn is ideal for this because you can post many different types of content, including plain text, images, videos, and articles.
Meme on real estate humor page (Source: LinkedIn)
Another way to incorporate jokes about real estate is with short video trends on TikTok. With simple, funny audio or CapCut templates, you can present a real estate situation that shows more of your personality or helps connect with potential leads’ sense of humor. Plus, many TikTok videos are well under 10 seconds and frequently generate hundreds of thousands of views.
@mcki.needham TikTok real estate humor (Source: TikTok)
YouTube provides a platform to upload longer videos. Leverage this platform to reenact funny skits, parodies, or funny reaction videos. Use puns, relatable real-life situations, or even darker humor to keep viewers engaged and coming back for more. Be sure to use high-quality video and edit your content.
Funny real estate video—what is luxury? (Source: YouTube)
Direct mail is a popular and effective real estate marketing tool that can help you increase brand exposure, build your authority, and get new clients. Using humor and unique designs on your real estate mailers, you’ll stand out from the sea of competing real estate agents in your area. There are a wide variety of punny real estate postcard templates available online, or you could make your own.
Funny taco real estate mailer template (Source: Etsy)
Communicating with clients happens through many mediums, including text, email, in-person, and over the phone. Don’t be afraid to sprinkle in some humor in your day-to-day communication with your clients to keep everyone happy and enjoy their real estate experience. Keep in mind that there may be some clients who don’t appreciate humor, so get to know your clients first before bringing out the jokes.
The most efficient way to incorporate realtor jokes into your marketing strategy is by using a tool that easily maps out your content and even helps optimize it for each platform. Constant Contact is an email and digital marketing tool that helps you create social media posts and emails, schedule them, and keep track of detailed analytics to continually improve your marketing. Try Constant Contact today.
Bottom Line
Even though being successful in real estate takes hard work, being able to enjoy a good joke and incorporate humor into your business can actually boost your productivity and engagement. Use these funny realtor jokes to relieve stress, connect with a fellow agent or client, or include these in your social media marketing strategy.
