In case you didn’t know, there’s a subreddit called r/BrandNewSentence where people share posts that are so creative, so beautifully worded — so unhinged — that they’re pretty sure they just read a brand new sentence. Here are some of the best posts from this year:
2. I just wanna say “The Wilhelm Scream of dead fictional wives” is my favorite phrase I read this year. Bravo to @otherhappyplace.
why do movies keep doing this shot where the hero has a dead wife and they do a flash back where they are ethereally under a white sheet together, it’s really weird. it’s like the wilheim scream of dead fictional wives pic.twitter.com/5TSwkoc7QX
— 🦋The Other Happy Place🦋 (@otherhappyplace) April 19, 2023
3. I love this parrot’s title, and also its ability to spread acceptance through its own burning hatred.
4. “Permanently Ratatouilled” isn’t a phrase that we should understand, but we do. Perfectly.
if i could be permanently ratatouilled i would. just relinquish all control. let the rat do it. im done
— zach silberberg (@zachsilberberg) February 5, 2023
5. That’s it. That’s what it is.
6. I, too, want to catch a flying hot brat.
At my first @Bucks game last night and thought I caught a shirt they fired into the stands out of a cannon. Turns out it was a hot bratwurst. Never in my life did I ever think I’d catch a flying hot brat but here we are. pic.twitter.com/Z0xDC5XPiY
— Tom Pigs (@sauced7) January 18, 2023
7. Personally, my “talk on the phone pants” are sweatpants with a hole in them.
Once got threatened with “disciplinary action” for wearing jeans instead of khakis at a telesales job and told my boss to just fire me because I wasn’t buying a special pair of “talk on the phone pants.”
They ended up just changing the dress code to “no profanity.”
— Wirefraud Boys Chat (@MazzaDammit) January 19, 2023
8. Suck it, microbiome!
Aww my microbiome fancies some high quality fermented foods does it? A little kombucha perhaps? I don’t give a shit, I’m the megabiome, I do what I want. I’m having a fanta lemon. I’ll swallow coins
— David McIver (@BigDavidMcIver) February 23, 2023
9. You just know the position would be called something like “croaker,” too.
10. There’s so much to choose from here.
11. That really does paint a picture.
12. Fun fact: You can sing “final boss cop in a goth prom dress” to Nick Cave’s “Red Right Hand.”
court is all like “place your non shit-wiping hand on this book of half-remembered ghost stories told by inbred winos and promise not to lie to this final boss cop in a goth prom dress.” ok sure man whatever you say.
— Kyle Kinane (@kylekinane) August 15, 2022
13. This is absolutely accurate.
14. I mean, what else would you call it?
15. Really? Not bologna?
16. Catch me staring blankly at a wall for an hour after hearing this.
My GF said “The message from Shrek is undercut because Shrek is still pretty attractive” like 20 hours ago and it only just now clicked that that is an absolutely fucking insane take
— Angel of Mists and Mirrors (@ChazakielDoremi) May 18, 2023
17. “Very Frenchly.”
Was in Paris on Friday night and a handsome French man was flirting with me and I asked him what his name was and he said (very Frenchly) “Ah you will be disappointed” and I thought what a silly thing to say and then he said “it is Kevin” and you know what? I was disappointed.
— molly (@mollyEatsTofu) January 15, 2023
18. Can’t wait for the sequel to The Queen’s Gambit.
19. First garlic, now this??
Imagine you were a vampire nowhere near the Middle East and don’t know who Jesus is but the day after he dies you gotta figure out why lower case t’s started hurting.
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) July 2, 2021
20. *Stands up and aggressively applauds*
21. I see no problem with this logic.
22. What.
23. I’m just hearing a cartoon “bonk” sound now.
24. Feed them!
26. And yet, they always do.
27. And finally, may we all have the pizazz of this Grubhub driver in the new year.
